Wedding invitations

I've been all over the web in search of wedding invitation inpirations. Now that I've bought the bridesmaid dresses, my theme colour has been finally established: purple/lavender/lilac. So having said that, the invitations and all the associated name cards and table numbers etc will have those dominant colour themes to tie the entire day together in harmony.

Trawling the net for wedding images, I've been remiss in terms of noting where I got the images from so if anyone notices an image of theirs that I've posted up - please let me know and I will either a) remove the image if requested or b) acknowledge your image with a caption and provide a link back to your website.

The cost of wedding invitations

DIY invitations can either look fabulous or tacky and amateur. Invitations that can be ordered online can range from $3 to $12 per invitation and that's not including any associated stationary yet! Whoa.

Invitation designs that I heart:

From: http://www.theinvitationcollection.com.au/ Wedding card at $6.90 each - the double pink ribbon looks great!

Wedding card $10.90 each - wow - probably costs so much because of the fancy bucky with pearl decoration!

Loving the green freshness of this green invitation - $7.90/invitation

Loving the pink and brown combinatin with that cute tag- 7.90/invitation

Wedding invitations

Traditionally issued by the bride's parents even if they're not paying. It's optional to include the groom's parents on the invitation. Most modern invitations include both parents' name. Invites are usually sent six weeks before the wedding.

For a fully co-ordinated wedding:

* Wedding invitation
* Evelopes
* RSVP cards
* Location maps with directions to the ceremony location(church/garden) and the reception venue
* Place cards
* Thank you cards
* 'Save the Date' cards
* Order of service sheets
* Menu cards
* Cake bags
* Bomboniere cards
* Coasters
* Matches
* Table napkins
* Wedding album

The wedding invitation design sets the style and tone of the wedding. Need: time for preparation, addressing, mailing, extra invitations for errors/mistakes/keepsakes, check the drafting several times before printing, confirm details for the ceremony and reception and an accurate guest list.

Outer envelope should have full names of the invited guests, the phrase 'and family' shouldn't be on the outer envelope. Invitation on the inside should contain the first names of all invited guests, including children. If you don't want to invite children, you can write "Adult Reception' on the invitation. You can add a handwritten note explaining that the reception does not cater to children. For singles, add the words 'and guest' to the inner envelope and invitation only- make an effort to find out the partner's name.

Components to the invitation design

* The design/look/appearance/style
* The wording
* Style, colour and typeface
* Popular Gaphic Overprint invitation styles includes Bay Series, Fine Impressions and Elegance
* Once invites are printed- ost couples handwrite or have a calligrapher write the names on the invitations
* Gold foil raised names look beautiful and are fancy

Music playlist

Classical repertoire

* Tango, Albeniz
* Ave Maria, Bach
* Symphony No 5, Beethoven
* Violin Concerto, Beethoven
* Selections from Carmen, Bizet
* Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Mozart
* Canon in D, Pachelbel
* The Four Seasons, Vivaldi
* Classical Gas, Williams
* The Blue Danube Waltz, Strauss
* Quartet No 9, Paganini

Music from youtube that I would love at our wedding

* Ben Chan Violin Solo playing 'Kiss the rain' by Yiruma: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_oDM7aDmoc

Itinerary At The Reception

This is suppose to be the traditional order of the night:

* Guests arrive at the location
* Cocktails and canapes are served
* Guests are seated
* The bridal couple arrives usually announced by the MC, sometimes a receiving line
* Guests are seated and dinner is served
* Toasts and speeches
* The cake is cut
* The bridal waltz or first dance
* Everyone dances or mess around
* Bride throws bouquet
* Groom tosses the garter
* Farewells as the bridal party leaves
* Parents farewells the guests
* Time for everyone to go home

Traditional order of speeches and toasts during the night

* Welcome by the MC(Master of Ceremonies)
* First course
* The Loyal/Royal Toast
* Main course/and/or final course
* Call to attention by the MC
* Introduce person proposing toast to the bride and groom
* Groom responds and proposes toast to the bridesmaids
* Best man responds
* Toast to bride's parents by a relative or close friend
* Father of the bride responds
* Toast to the groom's parents by a relative or close friend
* Groom's father responds

Main pointers about speeches

* Four main speeches: Toast to the B&G, the groom's speech, the bride's speech and the best man's speech
* Memorable speeches are usually no more than five minutes and have a combination of sincere feelings and humour
* 'To the B&G' is a toast to the B&G given by the father of the bride or a close family friend. Warm words about the bride, welcoming the groom and his famil into the bride's family is the essence. Thank those who have travelled to the wedding and a few anecdotes about the B&G can draw the speech to a close
* 'The Groom' replies to the toast on behalf of himself and his wife, thanks everyone who helped make the day possible and highlight those who did special tasks, conclude speech toasting the bridesmaids (nb to self: that advice was a bit odd)
* 'The Bride' some choose not to to a speech but it's a great opportunity to thank those who have helped and offered guidance through the planning process. Thank both sets of parents who have been generous with the time, help and understanding, toast the BM and GM to conclude
* 'The Best Man' needs to finish off with reading any letters, faxes and emails of congratulations

Speeches 'To Do' list

* Choose best man and MC
* Decide who will speak and in which order
* Advise MC of the order of speeches, give a little background on each speaker
* Advise all speakers when they will be required
* Confirm the necessary facilities with the reception venue (microphone, lecturn etc)
* Rehearse alone and in front of others
* Deliver the speech

MC duties

* Announcing the bridal party upon entry
* MC will call guests to attention for each speech
* Announce the cutting of the cake and afterwards invite the bridal couple onto the dance floor for the first dance
* Advise guests when it is time to bid the B&G farewell

Pointers for a successful and fun reception:

* Get everything in writing, from the dance floor size, play list to be be performed during the night, itemise the various pricing instead of getting an overall price
* Venue chosen should meet all your needs and not just some
* Coordinate delivery of your cake, flowers, decorations etc with the venue. The venue may have previous suppliers they can refer you to. Advise the venue of when the delivery and/or storage requirements of your cake and flowers well in advance of the wedding day
* Speak to one person, preferably a wedding coordinator so that one person will take responsibility for disseminating and delegating any necessary information
* Be considerate of your guests with the timing between the ceremony and reception. If you need more time for photography, arrange with the venue to allow guests in early and greeted with drinks and canapes
* Plan the night, give the MC a schedule of events so that you won't need to worry about the night and order of events

Last tip in the article was that the success of a wedding reception was in the 'planning, planning and more planning'.

Bridesmaids

I've asked three friends to be my bridesmaids. Hopefully they'll all get along. They are from different groups and parts of my life and represent the current circle that I hang out with. One is a friendship from over a decade ago. One represents my hobbies and interests side. One represents the social circle side. All three represent the groups that I find myself spending regular time with and they all have beautiful, caring and thoughtful personalities. I know that I can trust them with anything on the day and that they'll look after the duties just as I would have done myself if only I had 8 pairs of hands.

It's easy to become a control freak but I just know the day will be busy and will require delegations. I aim to do as much as possible myself before the wedding day and hopefully their duties won't be that burdensome. I already feel guilty at the thought of monopolising their weekends simply for wedding planning when I know how busy and stressful their lives are without that on top. It's suppose to be a happy day right?

As long as the planning is all done, the day should come together like clockwork. I've offered to pay for the dresses and shoes so I can't go too overboard with all the other expenses coming along however finding a dress that looks beautiful on all three will be no easy task.

Sydney Wedding magazine had a breakdown of the budget for expenses on each bridesmaids:

* Dress $200~$50?
* Shoes up to $150?
* Hair on the day - up to $100 each? Not sure how much it costs these days
* Makeup on the day - up to $100 each? Again - will need to get quotes
* Bridesmaids gifts and helper gifts - $? Unsure
* Accessories? $50~$80 Not sure if it's self provided or I'll need to buy some?

Budget - will need to multiply the sum of the above by my three bridesmaids. We've yet to start shopping so prices and costs are currently not yet known.

Time to plan and allocate for

* Dress shopping/fittings
* Shoe and accessory shopping?
* Parties to organise and invites to send (Hens stuff)
* Shopping for gifts for bridesmaids/groomsmen + family/friends who have contributed a lot in time and effort
* Hair/makeup trials
* Invitation writing/making and envelope stuffing (most likely will get family to help with this)
* Wearing the shoes in before the day so that they're more comfortable

Perhaps I should ask them to wear their own shoes and I'll supply the accesories because what if I bought them all had brand new, matching shoes and then they all end up with matching blisters on the day due to shoe discomfort?!! I'd feel so guilty!

Bridesmaids dress colour

I've got a few colours I'd like them to try dresses in to see which colour looks best on everyone: Red, dark pink, fuschia, magenta, violet, lavender, mauve, purple and lilac. They're all such pretty colours and are what I like to surround myself in when I buy flowers/plants/clothing/accessories. I'd like the deeper hues than the pastel ones because they're more dramatic and add a bigger splash of colour. I can already imagine using shiny, purple violet ribbons across the invitations.

DIY wedding bouquets

My fiance's mother and I plan on hitting the wholesale flowers market on Friday to buy the blooms and form our own bouquets that will revolve around the bridesmaids' dress colour and the wedding colour theme. Although the thought is scary it does sound fun however I hope we won't be too stressed out by assuming too much work upon ourselves instead of outsourcing.

A wedding flower magazine had the following breakdown for colour schemes that sounds useful:

MONOCHROMATIC
One hue in varying tints, tones and shades

ANALOGOUS
Colours alongside each other on the colour wheel

TRIADIC
Colours that are three equidistant colours apart on the colour wheel

COMPLEMENTARY
Two colours that are directly opposite one another on the colour wheel

SPLIT COMPLEMENTARY
A hue from one side of the colour wheel and the two colours that lie on either side of its direct opposite

TETRADIC
Two sets of complentary colours

PRIMAR COLOURS
Red, yellow and blue

SECONDARY COLOURS
Created by mixing equal parts of two primary colours

TERTIARY COLOURS
Created by mixing equal parts of a primary colour and secondary colour

Wedding Reception Venue

We've already booked our venue. It's going to be at a Chinese restaurant with a banquet meal. Still a lot of things to do:

* Venue decorations
* Entertainment (magicians/dancers?)
* Seating plan after sending out invites and obtaining RSVPs
* Timetable of the night's running order: Bridal party and family entering the reception venue, speeches, cake cutting, bridal waltz, videos or photos to play - to make copies for ourself, reception manager and the DJ/entertainers

Phew heaps of work to do- no wonder I have trouble sleeping!

Planning the Wedding Cake

The cake should ideally match the wedding theme and colours. Things to consider: colour, flavour, size, shape, icing and decorations. How and where will it be displayed at the reception? An average two tier cake will serve around sixty people if the bottom 25cm layer is used and if the top is 18cm then it will serve 100 people. Soft cakes and wedding cakes used as the only desserts usually require larger slices.

Most of the weddings we've attended have desserts already provided so we've noticed that people don't eat the wedding cake which is served last. I'm not sure if we'll be serving up our cake so it will be a simpler affair, most likely two tier. Fancy icing and fruit cakes are two components that will probably up the price of the cake.

Cake traditions

Usually the top tier is saved and frozen, to be eaten on the first anniversary. The cake maker needs to be advised of this according to the bridal magazines however that begs the question why? :/ What's the difference between a wedding fruitcake and how would it differ if we told them that we plan to eat the top layer one year later? :/ Hopefully not via more preservatives.

Cake timeline

SIX MONTHS
* Decide on the style of cake to best match your wedding theme and budget, choose the flavour/s and whether it will be served as dessert, after dessert or for guests to take home
* How many will you need to serve and do you wish to cater for dietary requirements and allergies?
* Compile your ideas and research some cake makers online to see some of their creatiions. If you like their work, contact them and if you like what you hear, make an appointment to visit their stores and taste some samples.
* Ask for detailed quotes and compare costs

THREE MONTHS
* Pay the deposit with your cake maker and have a detailed contract/invoice that outlines the cake description, cost, time, place, location of delivery and any hidden charges
* Ask your reception venue if they can serve the cake either as dessert or after desserts

TWO WEEKS
* Call your cake maker to confirm the details and pay the balance of the costs
* Ensure a cake knife has been organised for the reception

WEDDING DAY
* Cake to be served at the reception or packaged for guests to take home

Planning Wedding Music

Below a few helpful hints that I've found in the bridal magazine. We've got to get a move on because the wedding is in less than five months and we haven't done anything yet! *panic panic*

Music for the day will be messy. From organists, choirs, string trios, quartets, soloists, harpist to taped music. We are hoping to have a violinist(classical) or guitarist (rock and roll), a band for live music during the reception and a DJ for later in the evening to play dance tracks.

Music during the ceremony

We're having a garden ceremony so there will hopefully be music in the following parts:
* Music before the wedding
* Processional music (walking down the aisle): Mendelssohn's Wedding March or Pachelbel's Canon or Wagner's Bridal Chorus (We are loving Pachelbels Canon!!)
* Music during the service
* Music during the signing of the register
* Recessional music and incidental music after the wedding

Questions to ask when hiring:

* How long have you and the other performers been playing together and do you have samples that I can watch or is on youtube or your website? Or can I see examples of you work and speak with former clients?
* Ask to see a list of their repertoire, agreee on a list of music and songs they are to perform, check the list and confirm it in the contract
* Contract should cover the following: terms and conditions of the hiring, names of all musicians and performers should be listed along with the style of music they will be performing down to the specific songs, arrival and departure time clearly stated along with setup and break times, food and beverage allowances for the band, equipment provisions and liability-insurance coverage, will they play 'filler' music during their break? and what about the DJ?
* What will you be wearing when you perform?
* Do you charge by the hour or a flat rate?
* How much room do you need for your equipment and performance area?
* Will you beable to play in a garden or park using your own power supply?
* Will you be rehearsing before the wedding?
* It's suppose to be protocol to feed the band members during celebrations so check with venue or caterer about vendor or supplier meals and prices
* Ensure your reception venue can accomodate the band due to some venues having restrictions over the noise/space/acoustics and electrical requirements

Hiring a DJ

* DJs usually provide the music, sound and lighting equipment and can play continuously without interruptions
* Choose music that is meaningful to the both of you so that you can have great memories of the night
* Music can be dramatic, romantic, sexy or fun
* Agree with the DJ on the list of songs and music pieces to be played, 'must play' songs and fillers
* Easy listening tunes 'background music' during the meal and more dance tunes later in the evening
* Black tie formal- Jazz or contemporary band on arrival and disco DJ for the dance hours


Entertainment

* Surprises for guests can include such entertainments as: fireworks, laser light show, fire breathers, jugglers, stilt walkers to greet guests arriving, cabaret, flamenco dancers, mime artists and magicians, comedians, snake and sword acts, impression artists

Music timeline

SIX MONTHS
* Figure out the kind of music you and your fiance would like at your ceremony and reception and how much you are willing to spend
* Find examples of performers work on the internet, on their website, at  live shows, friend's recommendations
* Do you need a band and a soloist?
* Reception entertainment are usually booked out early so book ASAP, always watch their performance before paying the deposit
* Ensure you have a written contract/agreement outlining the date, time, location, length of performance, break time and any extra charges for travel, meals and overtime
* Check with your ceremony and reception venues about assembling audio equipment, microphones and loudspeakers. Will be there sufficient room for a dance floor, lecturn and performance area?

THREE MONTHS
* Give the DJ/musicians your 'play list' and 'black list' along with special requests. Ensure that they know when to play the bridal waltz and the music to be played.

ONE WEEK
* Call and confirm all details with your musicians
* Written agreement should outline what the musicians will be providing at what costs, the breaks they are having and at which times, if hey require a meal, ourly rae for additional time, venue address, reception starting time and the time that he band is expected to start playing
* Organise time when the band can prepare their equipment and carry out a sound check
* Liaise with the reception venue and provide contact names and numbers for both parties to confirm the setup time

Planning Wedding Flowers

Some like the extravagant lavish and ornate flower arrangements. I prefer something more simple. Flowers are so expensive in Australia. We are hoping to visit the wholesale flower market at Flemington and make our own bouquets and floral arrangements. The colour scheme will be dependent on the bridesmaid dress colours so that everything looks visually stunning. People use ivy as a cheaper alternative. The trick will be knowing what blooms will be in season to match the dresses and the colour theme of the wedding!

Flower components to think about:

* Bride and bridesmaid bouquets
* Buttonholes for groom and groomsmen
* Corsages or buttonholes for bride and groom's fathers
* Flower hairpieces
* Rose petal confetti
* Floral arrangements for the ceremony and any topiary bushes
* Floral centrepiece arrangements for the reception (We may just have flowers on the bridal table since we're having an asian banquet)
* Fresh blooms for wedding cake (we probably won't have fresh flowers on our cake)

Timeline planning for wedding flowers

 SIX MONTHS

* Once you've got your gown sorted, choose the bouquet design you want in consideration of your dress, wedding colour theme, bridesmaids' gowns, time of year and location
* Decide on quantity of bouquets and floral arrangements you would like to order (I'm tossing between having and not having floral centrepieces at the reception)
* Search for a florist, ask to see their portfolios and ensure you get along with them (We're making our own)
* Bring fabric swatches, stationary samples and the chosen cake design so that the florist can understand your theme and wedding style
* Compare quotes and get the best deal

TWO WEEKS

* Call your florist and confirm the delivery time, date and address for the bouquets. Confirms setup location, time and date for ceremony and reception decorations

Planning Wedding Bomboniere

Bomboniere are the thank you gifts for guests. With the exception of two weddings, we usually get bombonieres at every other wedding. Thinking back, after a while no-one really remembers what the bombonieres were and when we didn't get any at two weddings, no-one even really missed it that much. So far, I've got about five chopsticks set, two fans, lollies and some fake flowers that have gathered dust as they just sat on the shelves. However some bombonieres were truly memorable because love and thought had gone into them via the gifts themselves or the packaging and design. It's obvious when someone has made an effort to co-ordinate the designs/colours and theme throughout the wedding with personal reflections or momentos of the couples journey to the wedding day.

An edible or useful bomboniere, a display shelf bomboniere or a stuff-it-in-the-drawers bomboniere

I tend to consider gifts belonging in three main categories:  Edible or useful (eg food and winestoppers), something that you place on shelves or in display cupboards that may gather dust and require dusting and some that aren't quite display worthy and people are unsure about what to do with them so they just jam them into their cupboards and drawers until they're suddenly found again when the drawers get cleaned up.

We are thinking of providing small glass jars of jelly belly beans. I want to give something edible(jelly belly beans), something durable and usable/functional(glass jars which can later be used to store herbs/spices/sweets) and something to tie the bomboniere into the wedding theme so they match beautifully via the ribbon and tag attached with a personal message of thanks and wedding details which could be scrap booked or kept as a keepsake by some. The jelly belly beans have around 49 flavours, are really cute and best of all, tasty! Once I attach some ribbons and a label that matches the stationary then it should hopefully look really cute and elegant. After a pile of bombonieres gathering dust on my shelf, I'll stick to the edible gifts which can be enjoyed and munched on in days or weeks after the wedding.

There are thousands of bomboniere gift ideas on the internet. The traditional gift was five sugared almonds however modern bombonieres range from lollies, fortune cookies, candles, chopsticks, fans, name/place card holders in the shape of hearts/fish/birds etc, photo frames, keyrings, cookies, cupcakes, chocolates and truffles,  magnets to more elaborate gifts such as engraved bookmarks and wine bottle stoppers. The price of bombonieres on the internet range from around $1 to $10 per guest.

Adding the personal touch to your bombonieres

It's a great opportunity to have either the bomboniere itself, the packaging or the labelling match your wedding colour theme used in your fabrics, stationaries, invitations etc. The bombonieres should complement the centrepieces, napkins and any floral arrangements. Always have extra bombonieres for the ones that get damaged and you can gift them to other suppliers whom you have appreciated help from and possibly a few for momentos.

Bomboniere timeline

SIX MONTHS
* Analyse your guest list and calculate how many you will need and how much your budget will be
* Ready-made versus DIY bombonieres > you can get ideas from the internet, bridal magazines, craft shops, bridal stores, fairs, other friends' wedding, wedding blogs
* Research your prices on the internet, get quotes from suppliers, try and source wholesalers if possible, ask for bulk buying discounts, as for further discounts if you pay cash, get written quotes which outlines the product and shipping costs

 THREE MONTHS
 * If you're making a DIY bomboniere, buy the supplies you need and set aside spare time to make them, try to enlist other family and friends in the process so that it's not as stressful and it'll be significantly faster
 * If the bombonieres are perishable or edible such as seedlings, cupcakes, jams etc then they will need to be organised closer to the date

TWO WEEKS
 * If the bombonieres are DIY then they will need to be completed if non perishable so that you won't stress over them
 * If you are buying them, call the supplier/stockist to confirm the order, date, time and place for delivery and pay for them
* Organise for your friend, reception manger, wedding coordinator or family member/s to arrange the bombonieres on the tables,  on a main table by the entrance/exit or arrange for a friend to hand them out when guests start leaving. The easiest method is to arrange them on the table beforehand.

Buying a Wedding Dress

Recent friends have been paying around $2k for their wedding dresses and they said that was cheap! Whilst we haven't got a budget, we usually ask for multiple quotes to get a reasonable and competitive price and we also do a lot of web hunting for the best deals so even setting a firm numerical budget isn't really that effective. Despite our budget being almost unlimited, neither my fiance nor I are lavish spenders and we are aiming for a simple, elegant wedding and not something overly elaborate and flamboyant.

Anyway, I've been reading up on wedding dresses and a few important notes that I wanted to remember when going wedding dress shopping:

* Can you raise your arms, walk, dance, hug and breath easily?
* Does it suit the season and formality of your wedding?
* Is it the right length? Will you require gown fittings?
* Does it look nice from behind?
* Will you need to wear special lingerie underneath?

Timeline for wedding gown shopping

TWELVE MONTHS
* Make a scrapbook out of your favourite dresses
* Formalise a budget

NINE TO SIX MONTHS TO THE WEDDING
* Gown hunting, book private appointments with boutiques and dressmakers, bring your mum or maid of honour along with you
* If you have found your dress- check that it fits with your veil, headpiece, shoes, lingerie and jewellery image
* Pay your deposit and ask for an invoice listing the size, style, inclusions and delivery/pick up details

SIX TO FOUR MONTHS TO THE WEDDING (This is where I'm at today with noneof the above yet accomplished! Panic panic!)
* Attend first fitting, bring accessories such as shoes, veils and lingerie
* Finalise accessories and ensure that your veil and headpiece complements the gown and bridal hairstyle

ONE MONTH
* Final fitting, ensure lingerie doesn't show and that the gown is comfortable (check weight loss or gain)

ONE WEEK
* The gown should be at your home. Store it securely away from odours and cooking smells. A steamer will remove any creases before the big day. Sandpaper the soles of your shoes and remove all price tags.

Planning the wedding ceremony

I've thought about what I'd like to happen in the garden for the ceremony. A beautiful historical garden. Music, readings and vows. Chairs, flowers and a path of rose petals or a red carpet? Elegance versus rock n roll? A few questions to bear in mind:

* How many guests does the venue hold? The garden that we're looking at will hold up to 80 guests in the garden
* How long will the ceremony lasts? Less than 1 hour? With photos with family and friends, maybe up to 2.5 hours?
* Can I supply a portable PA system and /or microphone? No, so the celebrant that we decide to go with will have to supply those two items
* Ask if the celebrant will assist in organsing a wedding rehearsal? Will have to check with the celebrant we decide on

Music will be either or both: Mendelssohn's Wedding March or Pachelbel's Canon played on the violin or strings symphony or harp. We have musician friends however my friend who is a pianist will be one of my bridesmaid so she's out of the music action. I have asked another friend, a guitarist(acoustic and electric) if he could play a few solos and he said no problem. Another friend, whom I've only just met via tragic circumstances- he plays the violin so beautifully and I would like to ask him but don't know if I should or shouldn't?

Readings: Favourite romantic poems to be read by a friend or family member?

Vows: Insert personal jokes and humour? Or keep it traditional and solemn?

Legalities: At least one month and one day before the wedding, sign a Notice of Intended Marriage form, must provide birth certificates. A few days before the wedding, both need to sign a Declaration of Marriage form. After the vows are spoken, both sign a wedding certificate, record book and registry paper with two witnesses aged 18 or over

Timeline for the ceremony

TWELVE MONTHS
* Book venue and enquire about any restrictions (eg throwing confetti, camera gear and music type)
* Does your religion require you to meet with the minister for pre-marital counselling in the lead up to the wedding?

SIX MONTHS
* Organise your wedding service with the celebrant - may include order of service, speakers, poems, hymns, musicians and vows

THREE MONTHS
* At least one month and one day before your wedding, sign 'Notice of Intended Marriage' form which your celebrant should have, provide birth certificates and a Decree Absolute for those marrying the second time


ONE WEEK
* A few days prior to the wedding, sign the 'Declaration of Marriage' form

WEDDING DAY
* After vows are spoken, sign the wedding certificate, record book and registry paper with two witnesses aged 18 or over

Wedding ceremony celebrants

Your family minister could marry you or you can find a celebrant throught the 'Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants' site. We are planning on using our friend's celebrant. Plenty of them have already married. Most of our married friends had a church wedding and two had a garden ceremonies. The celebrant that we have contacted said that she'll visit us twice and will work with us to make our vows creative and meaningful but her charges are $625.

My SO did send an email asking her for availability and a price. He mentioned that we got referrals from our friends. The problems with mentioning that we got referrals from our friends could go three ways usually- suppliers are confident that we already like their services so they charge a higher price or they may want additional business via more referrals so give us a better price.  Our friend paid around $550 for the celebrant and her exact same celebrant just quoted us $625. I'm not sure how to negotiate for discount in this situation - should we have replied back with a 'are you able to offer a more competitive price' or 'are you able to give us a discount' or 'your prices are a bit on the high side-I don't think my fiance wants to pay that much?' or 'are you able to offer us a better price?' or 'since we live local to you, are you able to offer us a more competitive pricing?' .... Really, how does one negotiate pricing with a celebrant?

If we hadn't mentioned that we got their names from our friends and instead mentioned that we just randomly pulled their details off the web- would they have given unknown couples a more competitive price? That's the problem with mentioning that you were referred. Sometimes the best strategy is to ask them and not mention the friends, and after they've given a price then to hone in and mention that since you were referred from some friends, can you get a discount? Or even offer the tantalising idea that you can refer more future business to them if they give you a discount today? ... Bargaining is usually something straightforward(you can't express too much enthusiasm at the beginning or it's already a done deal) but when it comes to haggling over wedding prices - it gets a bit tougher simply because it feels tackier?

Top 10 Wedding Stressbusters

Lately my SO(significant other) and I have had a few fiery and tense moments. Now I know why some couples break up just prior to their wedding. I do know that we have had two major arguments already over the wedding planning when we usually very rarely argue with one another. There are SOs who prefer not to be involved at all, SOs who want a bit of involvement or prefer to do what they're told and SOs that truly jump right into the wedding planning with their ladies. My SO is the latter - he is well and truly having his finger in almost all the pies with his opinions.

One of the 'Bride To Be' magazine had a 'Top 10 Stressbuster' section:

1. Write a list of everything that bothers you including your 'worst case scenarios' and create an action plan for every point. Show it to someone and ask them for an objective view and feedback.
2. Don't try to organise the entire wedding yourself. Delegate some responsibilities to people you trust, such as your mum, bridesmaids and your fiance.
3. Fax your wedding suppliers confirming all details in writing. Follow up with one phone call to each supplier and don't worry about it again until the wedding draws near. Remember, you're dealing with professionals, you can trust them.
4. Get fresh air and regular exercise such as short power walks or yoga. A few good nights' sleep will also restore your energy and balance.
5. It is not your responsibility to act as mediator for inter-family conflicts however you can approch hostile divorcees or bickering relatives and politely request then to put their differences aside for one day. Remind them that if they truly love and respect you then they won't make a scene.
6. If you're panicking about public speaking, spend five minutes a day using positive visualisation or saying affirmations.
7. Acknowledge that there will always be someone who knows how to 'push your buttons' and avoid such people as much as possible during the hectic periods.
8. Caffeine, sugar and salt can make you feel nervous and high strung. Skip the stimulants for natural relaxants such as herbal tea such as camomile.
9. Treat yourself to a luxury spa experience and allow a massage therapist soothe your worries away.
10. Plan a romantic dinner or weekend away with your man and ban wedding talk.

Wedding Checklist "To Do" List

First step is the 'To Do' list for organising. I hadn't even thought about finding 'To Do' lists online until my friend sent me a few links.

The categories I have to look at are:

Accessories (such as table decorations/flowers etc), wedding dress and fabrics, bridesmaid dresses, grooms suit and groomsman suits, parents of the bride, parents of the groom, booking and catering at the garden ceremony, booking and catering at the reception venue, celebrants, wedding vows/stories/special comments, bridal waltz/dances/music list, musician(band/pianist/guitarist/harps/violin) to play the Mendelssohns Bridal March, decorations and hire, stationary such as wedding cards/invitations/rsvp/wishing well/location maps/table numbers/name cards/thank you cards/ceremony vow timecard and details, hair and makeup, jewellery, lingerie, photo booths, videos, wedding photography, wedding bonbonniere, wedding cake, wedding cars, wedding flowers/bouquet/garden ceremony/bridal table at reception/tables, wedding music and entertainment, wedding speeches from maid of honour/best man/parents of bride and groom/other family members or friends, MC for the night.

I'm not going to hire a wedding planner. It's a personal event and if I miss out on any of the details on the day, I'll be too busy to even notice although I will try to make it a beautiful, detailed orientated day for all our family and friends.

This is the wedding checklist that my friend sent me found on the website My Wedding Checklist:

9-12 months before the wedding

• Officially announce your engagement
• Decide on who pays for what and set an overall budget
• Set a wedding date (consult with registry office and officiant)
• Decide on the type of wedding (formal, semi-formal, informal…)
• Book reception site (liability insurance necessary?) and arrange    parking
• Book ceremony location (liability insurance necessary?)
• Decide whether you need/want pre-marital counseling
• Get some useful wedding checklists or prepare your own ones
• Hire wedding planner if you wish
• Start first draft of your guest list

6-9 months before the wedding

• Announce wedding date (especially for out-of-town guests)
• Start shopping for wedding dress, shoes, jewelry etc.
• Decide on bridesmaids dresses
• Organize (flower) decoration and bouquets
• Hire catering service
• Hire wedding photographer/videographer
• Hire DJ/band
• Choose officiant and discuss ceremony process
• Start thinking about gift registry options
• Reserve hotel rooms (in varying price ranges) for out-of-town guests
• Have an engagement party if you wish
• Book honeymoon

4-6 months before the wedding

• Select and order wedding invitations and stationery
• Choose wedding cake
• Discuss menu ideas with catering service
• Arrange for rental items (arches, candelabras, china, crystal, flatware…)
• Buy wedding rings
• Organize groom’s tux and decide what groomsmen will wear
• Make sure bridesmaids ordered their gowns and decide on accessories
• Look for wedding favors
• Confirm dates for bridal shower and decide bachelorette party themes
• Start registry (before sending bridal shower invitations)
• Get ideas for wedding hair and makeup
• Organize helpers (readers, musicians, guest book attendant etc.)
• Organize additional management staff, babysitters etc.
• Give guest list to shower hostesses
• Decide whether you want wedding insurance

2-4 months before the wedding

• Finalize guest list and send invitations
• Select place for rehearsal dinner
• Finalize rehearsal dinner plans
• Finalize menu
• Select music for ceremony, reception etc.
• Book makeup artist and hairstylist
• Check tuxes for groom and groomsmen have been ordered
• Organize wedding transportation (for you and your guests)
• Order wedding favors
• Find gifts for each other, your attendants, shower hostess, parents etc.
• Purchase bridal party gifts
• Purchase wedding accessories (candles, baskets, ring pillow etc.)
• Check registry regularly (there always have to be enough options left)
• Joint bank accounts, insurance, merging of money…
• Start preparations for honeymoon
• Send invitations 8 weeks before wedding date

1-2 months before the wedding

• Have first bridal gown fitting
• Schedule a final fitting for your gown so it can be ready for formal bridal portrait
• Finalize ceremony readings, songs, etc.
• Design wedding programs
• Meet with officiant to finalize ceremony
• Arrange “Bridesmaid Luncheon” and other “Pre-Wedding Parties”
• Write vows
• Set appointment with photographer for your formal bridal portrait.
• Prepare photo and video shot list
• Check requirements for blood test and marriage license in your state
• Discuss and finalize details with wedding service providers

3-4 weeks before the wedding

• Get marriage license (normally no earlier than 30 days before wedding)
• Arrange name change
• Mail rehearsal-dinner invitations
• Meet with stylist to discuss makeup and hair
• Confirm hotel arrangements for out-of-town guests

1-2 weeks before the wedding

• Call guests who have not responded to invitation
• Make final payments for all services that require payment
• Have final wedding gown fitting
• Finalize wedding-day schedule and share with attendants, parents and all vendors
• Pick up wedding dress and make sure all accessories are together
• Reconfirm all wedding plans: ceremony, reception site, florist, photo-/videographer, musicians, DJ, baker, honeymoon
• Give caterer/reception site final head count
• Provide wedding party and out-of-town guests with itinerary and maps
• Prepare emergency kit with needle, thread, safety pins, tape, mirror, etc.
• Give someone at home emergency numbers of honeymoon locations, credit card numbers etc.
• Finalize seating arrangements
• Prepare place cards
• Prepare “wedding box” for ceremony accessories
• Prepare “reception box” for reception accessories
• Prepare wedding favors for transportation
• Complete seating plan for reception
• Confirm all rental and floral delivery dates and times
• Confirm arrival times for attendants
• Pack for wedding night and honeymoon

The day before the wedding

• Prepare payment envelopes, choosing who is responsible for each one
• Hand out assignment lists and checklists to ensure everyone knows their tasks
• Hand out ceremony box to appropriate person
• Hand out reception box to appropriate person
• Hand out favor box to appropriate person
• Give rings to best man
• Gather wedding dress and all accessories
• Get a manicure, pedicure, massage
• Rehearse ceremony with officiant and wedding party
• Confirm flight arrangements for honeymoon
• Compile an emergency list of all wedding vendors with phone numbers

The wedding day

• Try to eat breakfast
• See hairdresser
• Have makeup applied
• Don’t forget rings (if you haven’t given them to best man) and wedding license
• Take a relaxing bath

After wedding

• Get wedding gown cleaned and preserved
• Preserve bouquet
• Write and send thank-you notes
• Complete process of name change
• Finalize gift registry
• Meet with photographer/videographer to finalize albums/video